IC Contact

[pianistofraielin]

E-mail: bachtothefuture @ gmail . com

AIM: bachtothefuture

Phone: (voicemail) "Hey, this is Russel! Sorry I can't answer right now, leave a message and I'll call you back!"

[method & date in the subjectline please!]

Comments

text | 10/3/2014, afternoon | network since he doesn't have Russel's phone number

[abhero]

[He has to apologize to Russel. A real apology, not the panicked repetitive wails of yesterday. The problem is he has no idea how. What are you supposed to say in this situation, “Sorry I tossed you into a monster’s open mouth and almost killed you, it seemed like a really good idea at the moment and oh by the way I think past me accidently killed past you in the same way so sorry about that too”?

...okay, he definitely isn’t going to mention that last part. Not now. Possibly not ever. God he’s the worst person ever.

Eventually Emil sucks it up, writes the first thing that comes to mind and hits “send” before he can change his mind. It’s not like he’ll find a better way to approach the situation if he keeps putting it off.]

i’m so so SO SORRY
this stupid echo made me do it but that’s not an excuse idk wtf what past me was thinking i should’ve known better and i’m really sorry

five minutes later, there's another message

[abhero]

for everything not just yesterday
i’ve been a shitty person and i wanna make it up to you
i get if you just want me to fuck off but i mean it

[text]

[pianistofraielin]

[when Russel gets these messages, he is at first REALLY IRRITATED because he did not want to be reminded about almost dying. he would definitely prefer to just never think about that ever again and move on with his life like everything is fine. see, every time he comes back to it, he starts to freak out about it, and worry about the future and what if it happens again and what if next time he isn't so lucky, and he would really rather just not. it's so much easier to pretend it never happened and that it isn't a problem and that it doesn't scare him.]

[but he shoves all that aside, because ignoring it is easier than being angry about being reminded about it. and then he is free to feel vindicated that Emil has admitted to what an awful person he is and apologized for it]

yeah, you HAVE been a completely shitty person to me and honestly i'm not sure i SHOULD forgive you because you'll probably just go right back to being a dick because you know you can just apologize later and be forgiven!

[text]

[abhero]

[Emil is relieved to get a response at all, even more relieved when he actually reads it and realizes Russel doesn’t mention yesterday. He too would much rather think about something else.

He can’t blame Russel for being suspicious because nine out of ten times, he would take advantage of people’s kindness and go back to being a dick. But when your attitude almost gets someone killed, you start to seriously reevaluate your life choices.]

i don’t WANT to go back
all i’ve done since we met is recreating fucked up past life events with my shitty behavior and this shit’s gonna stop
there’s being a dick and there’s being a psycho
i think past me was a psycho and i don’t wanna be like that

[pianistofraielin]

[can it be? is Emil truly turning over a new leaf? Russel wants to believe it, he wants to believe in the compassion of mankind and that all people deep down are really good people and

no man past-Emil was a total psycho, he can't just take this at face value. that's exactly what someone who was trying to take advantage of his forgiving nature would say.]

you better not be screwing with me. if you are you'll regret it!

[empty threat tho...]

[abhero]

[Yeah Russel you’re not very threatening, it’s Emil’s own guilt that’s eating him up.]

i’m not
i mean it

[Which probably doesn’t sound very convincing right now. And let’s face it, chances are he will slip back to assholeness eventually but right now he means every word.]

[pianistofraielin]

[hrnnngh he still doesn't quite buy it... but he would rather risk accepting a fake apology than risk turning down a sincere one.]

alright.

i accept your apology.

[he'll just...have to never let his guard down around Emil.]

[abhero]

thank you

[100% sincere here, but that might give Russel more reasons to be wary around him. That's the problem with a being a jerk all the time - when you decide to get a grip and try to be nice, it looks even more suspicious and people assume you're up to something.]