pianistofraielin | IC Contact

[He has to apologize to Russel. A real apology, not the panicked repetitive wails of yesterday. The problem is he has no idea how. What are you supposed to say in this situation, “Sorry I tossed you into a monster’s open mouth and almost killed you, it seemed like a really good idea at the moment and oh by the way I think past me accidently killed past you in the same way so sorry about that too”?

...okay, he definitely isn’t going to mention that last part. Not now. Possibly not ever. God he’s the worst person ever.

Eventually Emil sucks it up, writes the first thing that comes to mind and hits “send” before he can change his mind. It’s not like he’ll find a better way to approach the situation if he keeps putting it off.]

i’m so so SO SORRY this stupid echo made me do it but that’s not an excuse idk wtf what past me was thinking i should’ve known better and i’m really sorry

for everything not just yesterday i’ve been a shitty person and i wanna make it up to you i get if you just want me to fuck off but i mean it

[when Russel gets these messages, he is at first REALLY IRRITATED because he did not want to be reminded about almost dying. he would definitely prefer to just never think about that ever again and move on with his life like everything is fine. see, every time he comes back to it, he starts to freak out about it, and worry about the future and what if it happens again and what if next time he isn't so lucky, and he would really rather just not. it's so much easier to pretend it never happened and that it isn't a problem and that it doesn't scare him.]

[but he shoves all that aside, because ignoring it is easier than being angry about being reminded about it. and then he is free to feel vindicated that Emil has admitted to what an awful person he is and apologized for it]

yeah, you HAVE been a completely shitty person to me and honestly i'm not sure i SHOULD forgive you because you'll probably just go right back to being a dick because you know you can just apologize later and be forgiven!

[Emil is relieved to get a response at all, even more relieved when he actually reads it and realizes Russel doesn’t mention yesterday. He too would much rather think about something else.

He can’t blame Russel for being suspicious because nine out of ten times, he would take advantage of people’s kindness and go back to being a dick. But when your attitude almost gets someone killed, you start to seriously reevaluate your life choices.]

i don’t WANT to go back all i’ve done since we met is recreating fucked up past life events with my shitty behavior and this shit’s gonna stop there’s being a dick and there’s being a psycho i think past me was a psycho and i don’t wanna be like that

[can it be? is Emil truly turning over a new leaf? Russel wants to believe it, he wants to believe in the compassion of mankind and that all people deep down are really good people and

no man past-Emil was a total psycho, he can't just take this at face value. that's exactly what someone who was trying to take advantage of his forgiving nature would say.]

you better not be screwing with me. if you are you'll regret it!

[empty threat tho...]

[Yeah Russel you’re not very threatening, it’s Emil’s own guilt that’s eating him up.]

i’m not i mean it

[Which probably doesn’t sound very convincing right now. And let’s face it, chances are he will slip back to assholeness eventually but right now he means every word.]

[hrnnngh he still doesn't quite buy it... but he would rather risk accepting a fake apology than risk turning down a sincere one.]

alright.

i accept your apology.

[he'll just...have to never let his guard down around Emil.]

thank you

[100% sincere here, but that might give Russel more reasons to be wary around him. That's the problem with a being a jerk all the time - when you decide to get a grip and try to be nice, it looks even more suspicious and people assume you're up to something.]

[So someone had a really terrible Echo and now he's 1) shaken by some very vivid memories of angry mobs and 2) can't stop thinking about killing people.

One word keeps coming up, and even though the people in the memory made its meaning pretty clear ("demon, monster, Mazoku"), he still wants to ask Russel to be sure.]

do you know what a "mazoku" is

[the first time he reads the word, it means nothing to him. and then an echo hits, and the second time he reads it he's overcome by sudden visceral hatred.]

[THAT'S, UM. PRETTY CONCERNING. he pulls himself back for a minute, thinking about what he knows of his world that might connect to that overwhelming hate. it clicks--the monsters he remembered yesterday morning. the monsters keeping humanity living in fear under their heel. mazoku. yes, that hate sounds entirely justified to him.]

They're completely fucking terrible is what they are. [that is some pretty strong language for Russel off the cuff, usually you have to really piss him off before he gets to that point]

[Yes, Emil can tell it's a strong reaction. The last time he heard Russel say "fuck" was after he nearly killed him.]

ok more details would be nice

Our world was infested with vermin. Vermin called Mazoku.

Because of them, humanity lived cowering in fear.

[Good thing Emil decided to use text because no way he can keep his voice from revealing something now.

All the feelings he Echoed back with no context start to make sense. The uneasiness whenever destiny came up, the fear of being found out. Hamel hated being a Mazoku, he must’ve never told his traveling companions, not with how people treated him.

And that made no sense. Why would Hamel save them? Emil got to experience the memory in first person and it made him feel sick. He was just a kid, he didn’t do anything and all these people kept arguing about the best way to kill him like he wasn’t even there. Like he really was a vermin.

Some answers, even more questions.]

ok don’t freak out but i think hamel might have been one

[...oh.]

[did he remember...that?]

[Russel's not surprised by the conclusion; it makes perfect sense. that thing, whatever young Hamel turned into, that was certainly not human.]

[his next question is a very careful one, because he doesn't want to reveal what he knows without knowing for sure whether Emil also remembers it]

Why do you think that?

i remembered people calling him that when he was a kid bc he had a horn

[No mention of how he ALSO got a whole bag of murderous, inhuman urges.]

[yeah it's probably best that goes unsaid]

[but that doesn't sound like the same memory at all, so Russel can be somewhat relieved that 1) he doesn't have to reveal he knows Hamel killed Raiel's parents, and 2) Emil doesn't have to remember being a murderer.]

Well I didn't remember anything like that but you're probably right.

i don't think he told raiel but he must've been different bc he fought the others

[And once he hits "send", something else clicks. He types the next message so fast it has typos.]

wait when i showd you the hirn you said yuo remembered somthing intense soething under your hat but that doesn;t make sense unless riael was a mazoku too and you cated funny what up w/ that

[oh no CAUGHT RED-HANDED THIS IS A DISASTER]

[QUICK RUSSEL, THINK. COVER STORY. YOU CAN DO THIS.]

[admit that you're also a mazoku??]

[...no, even jokingly he doesn't want to stoop to that. he just...he hates them so much... he wouldn't be able to stand that kind of pretending.]

[WAIT]

[PERFECT]

Sorry something must be wrong with your phone your last message came through all garbled I can't even tell what it's trying to say

Maybe you should switch carriers and try again after

Edited 2014-04-17 08:11 (UTC)

[Are you fucking kidding him right now.]

can you read this

Nope

ok i'll try again later

IC Contact

text | 10/3/2014, afternoon | network since he doesn't have Russel's phone number

five minutes later, there's another message

[text]

[text]

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April 13th, evening, text to Russel's phone

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1/2

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1/?

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End

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1/??