abhero: illbillyou @ lj (showgirl)
The Great Hero Hamel ([personal profile] abhero) wrote in [personal profile] pianistofraielin 2014-07-06 10:06 pm (UTC)

i'm very sorry (NOW IN THE RIGHT PLACE)

[A couple of weeks after Russel’s move, a guy in green marching band conductor uniform will arrive at his grandparents’ to deliver a singing telegram.

He will also record Russel’s reaction on his phone.]


Here is a reminder
From someone back in Locke
Even though you moved away
I watch you like a hawk
Russel, you’re an asshole
You don’t remember why
But you totally deserve a slap
‘Cause you almost made me die
No I won’t give you details
I don’t care, tough luck
But I can guarantee you
You absolutely suck
It’s so nice to run away
Forget, start over, quit
Others still have stuff to deal with
You selfish little shit
So I dedicate this song to you
Who thought he was a hero
But with all the nosebleeds
Was more like a zero.


[For the finale, he will squirt Russel with a water gun (Emil paid him extra for that). And no, he won’t tell who it’s from.

(How did Emil even find Russel’s new address? WHO KNOWS. But after the telegram guy sends him the reaction video, he won’t bother Russel anymore.)]

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